Thanks everyone! I’m a chronic overthinker, this happened about a month ago but it’s been eating at me since. I’ve also not had a lot of friends as an adult and my MH issues blur my perceptions of interpersonal interactions at the best of times.
The first week or so I kept trying to tell myself that I was being ridiculous, that she had a point etc but then I just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to it. This wasn’t actually the first phone call she kept almost aggresively trying to turn back to XP and I, she had done the same thing a few weeks before this incident as well.
Their marriage is definitely not all the things she tries to say, as PPs replied. I have been uncomfortable with the way he speaks to her (in front of me, hate to see him when they’re alone since we first met 12 years ago, well before they married and had kids.
I feel he is very controlling (potentially abusive) ie tells her if she can work or be a SAHM, tells her not to work at her workplace of 15+ years because it’s not close enough to home for the children etc. She has been very vocal of their financial issues through covid as it impacted his work.
Rather than making a rational decision to let her return to work, he was hellbent on her remaining a SAHM, whilst making it very clear he was unhappy because of their dire financial situation.
My friend was born into a very rough, big, poor family and seems to think that the kind of man she married and the lifestyle they have is such a success compared to what she came from. This also gives her a tendency to think anyone else isn’t doing as well as her if they don’t have similar ‘success’.
She’s 10 years older than me and seems to thrive on the friendship dynamic where she is… dominant I guess is the best way to put it?