How is everyone going? Hopefully everyone is keeping a steady keel throughout lockdowns, etc.
Is there a mental equivalent of chronic fatigue syndrome? Because I think I have that. I went to the GP, thinking I might have adult ADHD - did the questionnaire, and I scored really highly. I have a referral for an appointment with a Psychiatrist next month, but DH is all freaked out at the thought of me getting fucked up on medication (he may be being irrational and unreasonable, but that doesn’t help me navigate his reaction).
I’m not depressed, I’m just fried. It’s like my “doing stuff” mind has shut down - but there’s also a lot of chatter and noise in my head that just does not stop. I have lists of things that need to be done. Pressing, important things. And yet, I can’t fucking do them. I get halfway through writing an email, then get distracted by something else, come back days later and realise I never sent the email - or I actually can’t remember whether I’ve sent it ten minutes after drafting it.
The constant changes in technology, remembering usernames and passwords, email requests, all drive me crazy. When I went into hospital for my appendix and was on the ward - I spent the first two hours just staring at the wall because it was so quiet, I couldn’t move and it felt like the first time in years where nothing was expected of me.
DS being in daycare will help a lot - being constantly on alert with him has been a huge contributing factor.
Sorry this is so long - it feels nice to get it all out. I think DH has finally clicked that I’m not whingeing about doing work (we run a business together) but that I’m actually genuinely struggling, and has taken over some of my functions in the office. I’m very lucky that I have the ability to re-structure work a little bit to accommodate my quasi-meltdown.
Has anyone else been here? Have you found your way back?