From a very young age, I knew I wanted children one day. Perhaps that was fuelled by the several family breakdowns I went through as a child? I was determined to have a happy family of my own. I used to role play families with my toys and friends.
DH and I met when we were 15. I had a massive crush on him. Little did I know the feeling was mutual. Anyway, when we were both 21, the timing was right for us and we became a couple. We both came from divorced parents, me twice. We had our first child quite young and by 30 had three kids.
I do not regret any of them. Looking back though now and I have had this conversation with DD and had it again today because I listened to an episode of ABC All in the mind https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2021-05-30/emotionally-immature-parents-how-to-recognise-and-improve/100170526
So, after the long recognition that my parents should not have had me (Mum was married to dad at 18 and had me by 19) Mum and dad had their own childhood issues to deal with but they had us then their relationship broke down when I was 5. Then mum re married my first step dad but that only lasted a few years and she was onto my second step dad who is still my step dad to this day.
In hindsight, DH and I would have grown a bit more as people before bringing lives we were responsible for into the world. I had a lot of child hood stuff I needed to work through as did DH but we don’t consider these things at the time and thought love was enough. It’s known as ‘magical thinking’.And some things don’t materialise until you’re a parent.
I told DD today, not the first time, that if I had my time again, I would have waited until I was at least 30, I needed more adulting and personal growth opportunity under my belt. Never mind, she said her childhood was amazing. I certainly remember my own struggles along the way. My own limitations. I could have done better in some areas.