Been having a very long and interesting conversation with my sister, and talking about the harrasment we received from men as teenagers and young adults and what a relief it is to get old, fat, unattractive and/or have a child on my hip, its a cloak of invisibility!! She told me about working in hospo in her early 20s and having to wear a name tag with her full name on it, and the fear of having to approach her boss to ask to not have to. Why? Because she was receiving friend requests and messages on social media, 100s a month from male patrons, who would then abuse her at work for not responding to their requests. What experiences have other women had?

Very much so. To the point where if I lose enough weight and men start looking at me, I suddenly gobble heaps of food again. I had a hard time. I hope I’m old enough now that if I lose weight, it won’t come back.

I miss visibility a bit. I think I came to attractiveness late - very gawky teen with low self esteem - so when I got attention it was validating. Now I don’t, I feel a bit sad. Not devastated, but I do feel sad.

The novelty wears off eventually as you realise people think you were born old and fat. So instead of looking at you as an unintelligent, blonde bimbo they see you as old with nothing to contribute. There’s nothing new under the sun,except maybe the birth of the internet, and you’ve seen most of it and lived most of it.

I guess we are all different. I have always been overweight and unattractive and have never had any attention flung my way whatsoever. I am absolutely invisible and worse am referred to as the kind one when people talk about me. Petty as it is I would have loved just once to have been the pretty one

[unknown] You’ll probably regret it.

I don’t miss wolf whistles and being hassled in bars. I was quite attractive when I was younger and sometimes the male attention was disgusting. But I do look back on photos and wish I’d appreciated myself a bit more back then. I was always finding fault.

I didn’t feel attractive in my teens (skinny, gawky), it wasn’t until I hit 20 that I felt it. I was a dancer and I also worked in a night club in the city in my early 20s. I got lots of attention, some of it was fun and I liked it but a lot was just awful such as being groped and not being able to see who did it because the club was so dark and crowded. That sort of thing happened a lot. 🙁 I’m sure it was wide spread too. I only blocked a ‘friend’ last week because he started sending me love emojis on face book. I am happily married with no intention of changing that. I would prefer no such attention these days. I certainly had my fair share over the years.

Enjoying being old, unattractive and a mother

Dawn

Been having a very long and interesting conversation with my sister, and talking about the harrasmen...