I keep trying to improve my life. My health, my finances, my mental health, my physical well being, my relationships, my parenting… again and again I try to live better, but I am stuck. I make plans, envision how I want things to be, I might even succeed for a few days before everything falls in a heap again. I’ve read a very interesting book on Holistic Psychology which points to a desire to stick with what is familar (even if what is familar is bad for us) and to remain in a cycle of drama and excitement (again even if its bad for us) if this is what we grew up with. This feels very true for me and my inability to change my habits. Unfortunately this realisation hasnt brought about any permanent changes either. So I wanted to ask does anybody else feel stuck?

I feel like a like of bad habits exist for a reason so ditching them can require other things in your life to change. When my kids were toddlers I spent a lot of time in ‘survival mode’ and there were a lot of things that I did that weren’t perfect or ideal. As they got older, it got easier and this year I’m trying to forge ahead to address a few ongoing issues (back to study, dental surgery, etc.) but there’s a whole lot going on in my family that I can’t control so it might take some time and there are likely to be setbacks. I don’t feel stuck but enacting real change in life is hard and takes a long time.

That was my dominant feeling when I had a toddler. It’s better now. I feel stuck sometimes, but my psych was very good at helping me view things in another way.

Maybe its because I have a young child then, though doesnt seem fair to blame everything on her. A lot of the changes I want to make are actually because of or for her, which makes me feel worse when I fail.

Don’t look at it as blaming it on her - rather the circumstances you are in at the moment aren’t very conducive to moving forward. I remember feeling so stuck with little children. And it didn’t feel like it was ever going to change, but slowly, it does and one day you actually realise things have move. Doesn’t mean I still don’t feel stuck sometimes but it’s not relentless - feeling.

Parenting small children was like walking through mire for me. I cant even really remember anything from DD’s first 2 years of life when I toddler and a baby who wasnt sleeping. It was awful. Things dramatically got better though after those first few years. I do wonder how people get through those stages intact.

Small children are just relentless, it’s not about blame though, it just is 🤷 it’s not easy and much harder doing it on your own and holding down a full time job. I take my hat off to you ❤️ Hang in there, it will get better.

Are you stuck?

Annsy

I keep trying to improve my life. My health, my finances, my mental health, my physical well being, ...