Are you stuck?

Dawnshade

I keep trying to improve my life. My health, my finances, my mental health, my physical well being, my relationships, my parenting… again and again I try to live better, but I am stuck. I make plans, envision how I want things to be, I might even succeed for a few days before everything falls in a heap again.

I’ve read a very interesting book on Holistic Psychology which points to a desire to stick with what is familar (even if what is familar is bad for us) and to remain in a cycle of drama and excitement (again even if its bad for us) if this is what we grew up with. This feels very true for me and my inability to change my habits. Unfortunately this realisation hasnt brought about any permanent changes either. So I wanted to ask does anybody else feel stuck?

Moo

I definitely feel stuck at the moment. I know what I need to do in some sense but my motivation is so low at the moment, I just can’t get started.

AprilEthereal

Yep. Can relate at the moment. I’m kinda languishing right now.

Dawnshade

I feel quite defeated, makes me question if my goals are actually achieveable.

PuddingPlease

I feel like a like of bad habits exist for a reason so ditching them can require other things in your life to change.

When my kids were toddlers I spent a lot of time in ‘survival mode’ and there were a lot of things that I did that weren’t perfect or ideal. As they got older, it got easier and this year I’m trying to forge ahead to address a few ongoing issues (back to study, dental surgery, etc.) but there’s a whole lot going on in my family that I can’t control so it might take some time and there are likely to be setbacks.

I don’t feel stuck but enacting real change in life is hard and takes a long time.

catbus

YES!! Very stuck.

Heyho2

That was my dominant feeling when I had a toddler. It’s better now. I feel stuck sometimes, but my psych was very good at helping me view things in another way.

Dawnshade

Maybe its because I have a young child then, though doesnt seem fair to blame everything on her. A lot of the changes I want to make are actually because of or for her, which makes me feel worse when I fail.

CassandraNORI

Don’t look at it as blaming it on her - rather the circumstances you are in at the moment aren’t very conducive to moving forward. I remember feeling so stuck with little children. And it didn’t feel like it was ever going to change, but slowly, it does and one day you actually realise things have move.

Doesn’t mean I still don’t feel stuck sometimes but it’s not relentless - feeling.

Longdarkteatime

Parenting small children was like walking through mire for me. I cant even really remember anything from DD’s first 2 years of life when I toddler and a baby who wasnt sleeping. It was awful. Things dramatically got better though after those first few years. I do wonder how people get through those stages intact.

Chookas

Small children are just relentless, it’s not about blame though, it just is 🤷 it’s not easy and much harder doing it on your own and holding down a full time job. I take my hat off to you ❤️

Hang in there, it will get better.

Dawnshade

I’ve noticed my anxiety is coming back over the last few days, which terrifies me… which of course just makes it worse. Haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly why its back but think its either my new role at work and going back into the office regularly and/or some of my relatives having to move which will change dynamics within my family quite a bit.

I have on the other hand made some big decisions finally. I have decided I will not be having anymore children, even though I like the idea of another the reality is I just can’t. I’ve also decided to fix my home loan for 3 years to give me both financial stability and also give me some breathing room, as Ive done a bit of building, buying, selling, moving in the last few years and am ready to settle and focus on other things. That means we will be staying put until my daughter starts primary at least.

Heyho2

Last year was really hard too. Many people i talk to are only just coming to terms with lots of stuff from last year.

Dawnshade

Last year was a strange one. I know it was super hard but I can’t remember. I also did a lot of renos so that was goos but brought along its own stresses. Honestly even though I know it nearly broke me I just dont remember it. Compared to some I feel pretty lucky.

Heyho2

Reno’s? We need to do renovations and far out am I delaying! Too ooooh much! I am lazy though…

Dawnshade

Renos aren’t too bad, expensive though. We moved in Jan 2020, very lucky timing that we were in our new home just before Covid hit. We WFH from mid March, I only returned to work after mat leave mid Feb. First half wasn’t too bad, except for the fear of the unknown. Second half with the strict Vic lockdowns were the hardest, especially the 5 weeks working full time with my daughter, and the frustrations of not being able to do things with my daughter.

I redid the bathroom, kitchen, laundry and toilet completely. New lighting, floors, painting, door handles, powerpoints and window furnishings throughout. New external door installed. New wardrobes in the bedrooms. Outside was new mailbox, clothesline, shed, garden beds, concreting and gates, as well as a cat enclosure.

It was 9 months all up. I’ve got some quotes recently to replace all the flyscrens, window winders, locks and screen doors and finish some external painting. Once that work is done it will practically be a new house 🙂.

If you have questions feel free to PM.

Dawnshade

Aww. Someone stole the fishes while I typed. Like the new cat fish!

Heyho2

Reno’s are not my kind of thing. We thought we’d bought a house that didn’t need them, but we’re idiots. We’re up to signing builders now, but we’ve got a guy who is guiding us through it. Still too many decisions for my liking… blah 😵

Dawnshade

Its tough. When I was looking for a house in this area I was torn between an older house that needed work or a brand new townhouse. Ended up both were outside my price range, found this older house but only 2 bedrooms. I do like that I’ve been able to style the house to my tastes, my first house was one I built so I got to have everything my way 🙂.

When I first looked at this place I was like no way too much work, the bathroom was horrible, just one giant corner spa bath with a shower over the top, not great when you have a small kid. But it’s worked out well.

Feels like everyone I know is either looking to buy or looking for a new rental atm. I’m refinancing.

Dawnshade

Things feel like they are moving or at least Im making decisions, but its the day to day stuff that I cant seem to fix, like budgeting and eating healthy.

At least work is sort of sorted. Ive been with my company nearly 7 years, was at the point were I was going to have to consider moving on or having my career become stagnant. Ive been very lucky that the company is restructuring and that has provided me with an opportunity to take on a new role, which will be great for my career if I can handle it but also means I can stick with my company for at least another 2 years without feeling pressure to move on.