https://www.rainbowfamilies.com.au/all_children_deserve_equal_rights A friend of a friend told me their son and his partner are currently having a child through surrogacy in the USA at a cost of 250k+. I’d never much thought about surrogacy before but saw this on the Rainbow Families website.

Interesting you posted this, I was thinking about it the other day too. I use to think it was really sweet, a rainbow family, aww. But then, the particular family I was thinking of had twins and two dad’s conceived and born in the USA (I think), and then I got quite cranky. Imagine deliberately transferring two (or more) embryos into a woman, because you didn’t want to have to do it again. And you wanted to increase your odds, all while lowering her odds and increasing the risk to her not to mention permanently changing her body 🤬 there’s the rage back again. Having done plenty of IVF myself and got twins out of it, I feel that we were incredibly lucky, but it certainly changed my body and I didn’t have to give them away.

I’m extraordinarily uncomfortable with any steps that would make international surrogacy easier. I know that’s a horrible thing to admit in some ways but I’ve just heard too many stories about women and girls being horrifically exploited in these industries and there is no way that we can be confident that we aren’t supporting those practices. I have no issue at all with surrogacy in principle but international commercial surrogacy typically involves wealthy people purchasing the use of the bodies of poorer people from countries where they have fewer legal and medical protections. Any pregnancy can be risky and if the surrogate mother experiences health issues that require intervention a year or two later, it’s likely that the agency involved will have no legal obligation to her at all. Living in a country with a public health care system, I think most intending parents probably have no idea how vulnerable that person is likely to be. Not sure whether there are more protections available for surrogates in the USA, it’s entirely possible but as a rule I think use of overseas commercial surrogacy should be discouraged.

I read an article (which cant seem to find now) about a women who was paralysed through complications of birth while acting as a surrogate for her sister, she already had a 3 and 8 year old of her own. So tragic 🙁 I’ve been wondering how long until we create an artificial womb, and can create babies without use of a woman’s body at all. I found the recent news that embryos were created from skin cells quite fascinating. How long till babies are just something you go to the store to buy, or place an order for? As someone who was only able to have a child through medical science, I’m torn between leaving nature alone and using science if we have it.

I used to be pro-surrogacy but I’ve also become increasingly uncomfortable the last few years with wealthy people using poorer women’s bodies this way. Pregnancy is hard on women’s bodies, it can be life altering or even life threatening. Even altruistic surrogacy carries so much potential for coercion and physical harm. I believe India shut down commercial surrogacy because the potential for abuse was so great. Obviously it’s very sad for anyone who wants a child and can’t have one, I wouldn’t want to underestimate the the grief involved, but using women’s bodies like this disturbs me.

Yes, pregnancy is awful. I had HG. My DD is nearly 2 and Im still suffering the after effects of my pregnancy, mostly a non existent pelvic floor which will probably require surgery before too long and a compromised immune system, including a sudden allergy to cats, not to mention the mental health effects.

I have friends - Gay Dads, who used a commercial surrogate in the US and a donor egg to have twins, then the same woman (and egg donor) to have a third. It cost a fortune. IDK. It was all very exciting and cool at first but… I’m going to put it out there that I think a child needs a mother. Adopting a child who needs a loving home (including a same-sex couple home) is one thing. Deliberately creating a child to exist without a mother is just…. But there’s issues for any couple- should we really be commodifying a woman’s body? Some things shouldn’t be bought or sold, no matter how desperately they’re wanted. The cat’s out of the bag now, though. It’s always going to happen- and probably always has, in some form- in Centuries past it just would have been concubines having the baby of rich men the old-fashioned way. Doesn’t make it right.

I think children have the right to information about how they were conceived and who their biological parents are. But I don’t know that a child needs a mother more than they need a father. Why is a mother more important? I am also fine with altruistic and open surrogacy, but not commercial surrogacy.

I am not fine with any surrogacy really if I am honest about it. Child birth shouldnt be undertaken on a whim and it absolutely certainly shouldnt be undertaken for a profit. It is commodifying women’s bodies and children are the commercial products. I am sure there are many people who would make great parents who for whatever reason cant biologically have children and buying them isnt the answer.

Longdarkteatime What about someone carrying a baby for their sister or cousin or best friend? I can’t really see any issue with altruistic surrogacy provided the person is otherwise healthy and there are appropriate safeguards in place.

Surrogacy and parental rights