Childcare & naptime

Annsy

My daughter has been attending daycare since she was 6 months old and I returned to work full time. In March I changed her to a new daycare center, which unfortunately in a lot of ways has not lived up to my expectations, but overall is adequate for my daughter’s needs.

The biggest problem right now is sleep. I’ve asked the daycare to limit her naps to under 2hrs otherwise she is up past 10pm at night, tired and cranky in the mornings, etc. I limit her to an hour on weekends, which works well. They agreed to do this a few weeks ago but haven’t stuck to it.

At pick up today they told me she was really tired this morning so they put her down to nap at 10am (usually nap time is 11.30am to 12pm). She woke up after 1pm. As soon as they told me I wanted to cry in frustration as she’ll likely be up to midnight now and I’d like to start going to bed earlier myself.

What can I do? Is it my fault for not being able to get her to sleep at night? They’ve recommended a sleep consultant but will that help at all?

SR21

Nope - they need to wake her up as you requested IMO. It’s perfectly normal for toddlers of this age to stay up late at night if they get too much sleep in the day.

Unfortunately I think they’re not really ‘allowed’ to wake kids up under the NQF so they might be in a hard place.

Good caters we have had in the past make a lot of noise around the end of a sleep cycle and what do you know the kid wakes up haha. Sort of playing around the rules.

My eldest was dropping sleeps by 2 ish so an hour seems plenty.

Wilding

Just make sure that they are not fudging your sleep times!! Im waiting for the train home, but know many that will, they’ll be oppps the chil is asleep or slept to long, can’t wake them up now. Also ask to see their sleep policy.

Annsy

That is my worry. She’s also pretty hard to wake up if she’s not ready. My mum babysat on Tuesday and tried to wake her after an hour and gave up.

PuddingPlease

I think if waking her up requires a lot of noise and movement or lifting her up while she’s still asleep then it’s probably not something any child care worker would really be permitted to do. I’m no expert but I think body autonomy with toddlers is considered quite important in child care.

I think if your mum couldn’t get her to wake up then the staff at the day care centre have zero chance to be honest. I appreciate the challenge though, my toddlers were night-owls too.

Annsy

What else can I do though apart from being up all night?

PuddingPlease

Annsy

I’m not sure, at some stage she will reduce her day naps and ultimately stop them altogether and then things get simpler but you’re in the middle of a very tricky stage. One of my kids refused naps altogether from about 18 months but she’d be wrecked by about 5pm and would turn into an enraged nightmare. Lucky she was so cute really.

wannabefree

Ask them to see their nap policy.

I have no idea if this is standard but our childcare has a written policy. I don’t entirely like it but they do at least wake her when I say. They also love saying “its against our policy” when I ask them to do something different to what they do. Erm well rewrite it then!

DD1 is 5, and yet they still have them all lie down for quiet time and sometimes she drifts off. Even a short nap at that age plays havoc with bedtime. Unfortunately, preventing them from sleep is against their policy.

Annsy

Its so hard. Its effecting my sleep as well and I need to be able to focus for work.

Only thing I can think of is to start waking her earlier so she’s tired at night, but still requires me to be awake…

Times like this I wish I had someone to share the load.

PuddingPlease

Annsy

Honestly I can’t imagine how you manage all of it alone, I really respect your patience and how hard you obviously work to keep everything running smoothly. I’m sure your daughter will appreciate it in twenty or so years 😄

Wilding

Annsy I feel for you, it’s a hard one. The comments I would hear at work about parents who don’t want their children to sleep and how some carers act. I could never say anything though being “just a casual”.

NotSure

I think it is really hard. Child care is a different environment to home. All that playing, being around other kids and being away from mum is really tiring. If a child wants to go to sleep or falls asleep, I think it is a big ask to expect them to wake her, particularly if she does not wake easily.

I know when my kid was dropping naps and I did not want them to do the afternoon sleep, it can be an effort to keep them away. I remember almost pinching mine on the leg in the car seat to keep them awake! And often it would take full on one on one attention and effort to keep them awake if fury started to nod off. I would feel grumpy when mine had a nap, at childcare, but do understand they needed one.

Annsy

I dont mind her having one.. but today was 3.5hrs. I’ve asked them to limit her to 2hrs. At home she will usually nap 1.5 to 2hrs if left alone, sometimes I wake her at an hour. So she goes to bed at 10.30pm, we will be up at 7am. If she is in bed at 10.30pm then I am awake till 12am while I tidy and catch up on work and things. Just tired. Feel like a bad mum.

I know part of it is she’s seen as ‘full on’, so they’d prefer her to be asleep. They told me today they have had to install a door lock because she wouldn’t stop trying to get in the bathroom area, and now they have to get cupboard locks because of her..

PuddingPlease

Annsy

She sounds like a run till she drops kind of kid, I’m impressed that she has single-handedly necessitated multiple new door locks. That suggests persistence AND cunning. Truthfully, she sounds pretty hilarious.

I’m sorry that you feel so tired, I remember how tough that was. It doesn’t make you a bad mum, even if you don’t get everything done. Provided you are both alive, safe and fed at the end of every day then you are probably doing enough. It does get easier eventually.

Annsy

PuddingPlease

She is quite cute and funny. She’s learned to say please, and now uses it to make me comply with her demands. 😛

She’s incredibly stubborn and persistent, will completely ignore me if she’s intent on something even while Im shouting ‘no’. She’s also too smart for her own good, incredibly curious, and fearless. Very independent too, Ill be trying to get her in the car, Ill be standing outside by the car calling her to come to the front door, she’ll wave and say ‘bye mummy’ then shut the door on me. Cheeky.

She’s very active and loves to be outside, running around, getting into everything. She’s often described as active, full on, independent… even been told she’s hyperactive, have I tried meds 🙁

But she’s just her. She’s also very caring, she loves animals and cuddles the dogs and cats, tries to care for babies at daycare and will happily fetch things for me or help me clean.

I love her. She’s the light of my life, and for every moment I think god this is hard, I have as many more where I cant believe how lucky I am to have her, that shes healthy and happy and mine.

Annsy

Picked her up early today and she was asleep 🙁. I cant get her to wake up either. Going to be a very long night.

NotSure

Annsy

There is your answer. If you can’t get her to wake up, they can’t neither. Toddlers are tough gig and hard work! I agree with above. If they are suggesting a sleep consultant, give it a try,

Chookas

It might be worth getting a sleep consultant in, in my experience sleep begets sleep. ie a good day sleep leads to a good night sleep. I wonder if she’s permanently over tired? Not easy for you though, I know it’s much harder as a parent ❤️

Bammers

Oops Wrong thread!!