After being stuck in debates ‘elsewhere’ on the internet and feeling frustrated about not being to have properly open and robust discussions without much editing, I thought I’d ask motherboard… what does feminism mean to you? I have my ‘ideal’ version in my head (not sure i could put it into words though) and then i come into the real world and I feel angry, powerless and a bit overwhelmed by it all. I am surprised to find myself as a middle class person after a very working class childhood, and a mother who had a desperately poor childhood. And I think it creates all kinds of points of tension for me. In my work, I work with a really broad cross of society. I love it. Anyway. Just more rambling from me, but would love to hear other peoples thoughts.

I read along with that thread - can’t post there anymore because I was banned for discussing issues that affect women. So I guess feminism to me means having a voice in issues that affect women - there was a poster in there banging on about voiceless women who might be reading along who aren’t privileged enough to make choices about where to send their girls to school. Well I’m one of those women but the only reason I was voiceless on that forum is because of posters like that who had me banned by playing the victim card. Side vent out of the way… feminism SHOULD in part be about women having a voice about issues that affect them.

Your post really resonated with me. I also grew up working poor, but would now be seen as middle class. Both my parents had terrible childhoods which effected their parenting, I’m still working through the issues of my childhood. The only difference would be that I don’t work with a broad cross section of society, I work in financial services. That being said my employer is very progressive, I work with people from all different groups. I feel overwhelmed, angry, sad and scared about the issues facing women, and hopeless. Feminism to me is about safety, equality, and freedom.

I guess at it’s heart, I think of feminism as equality for women. Breaking it down there are so many pieces to that, including removing societal structures that sexualise and objectify us, disadvantage us financially and socially, etc. And then more recently I’ve become more passionate about the part where we need a voice. I think I took that bit for granted before, I assumed we somewhat had one now - not in the sense that people would always listen but I thought it was a given that speaking out about feminism was ok. But over the last few years I’m seeing a move to a society where speaking up for women’s rights is shamed, attacked, or just silenced, and I’m pretty shocked that there are people twisting their brains around to this being ok. I thought this was ground we had already won. Once again, women’s rights are only allowed where they don’t infringe on men, and the language of disadvantage has now been co opted to achieve this. So now, feminism also means to me fighting in any way I can for women to have a voice.

CallMeAl I think that’s where my deep anger is stemming from now. I didn’t always speak up, and I didn’t always feel safe to do so, but there is something just so fundamentally wrong with saying to women, you can’t speak about you’re safety concerns. And it’s not just white middle class women who are being told this right now. Hibo Wadere on twitter who talks about female gential mutilation, gets attacked all the time for not including transwomen. How dare they! What was done to her and women like her is horrific and people want to quibble over transwomen not being included?

Dawn i am fortunate that my mum is awesome. She made mistakes along the way, but nothing major. She overcame an awful childhood to give us a stable, secure, loving one. I cannot stand her being condescended down to and some of those posts ‘elsewhere’ made me furious on her behalf. She didn’t need the piffle of that faux apology.

Still working out some anger apparently! 😅

For me personally It’s having a voice, being heard, having choices and the right to make those choices. I also have the right to be me. That may be overly simple, however if I add too many stipulations and caveats, my thoughts appear defensive, almost argumentative and it gets bogged down in words and loses its meaning to me.

I never really felt that I didn’t have a voice or that I was being discriminated against for being female until I had a child. Its much eaiser for me to see the injustices facing women in the role of ‘mother’, then it was as just a single woman without children. Which isn’t to say they weren’t there, just that I couldn’t see them as clearly. Raising kids brings up so many issues and shows stark differences in expectations for men and women. I remember seeing a study, where they showed a group of people a messy living space and then told people either a woman or a man lived there. When told a man lived there, they judged the space as less messy than when told a woman lived there, hence highlighting the expectation that women should clean and maintain higher standards of cleanliness.

Dawn yes!!! I think as a fairly privileged person I did not experience much sexism or disadvantage related to my sex (or didn’t notice when I did, it was probably hidden well) apart from safety concerns. But when I became a mother… yep then it all becomes so evident.

Maybe we need code for those of us that like argy bargy 😅. I like arguing and working out the edges. I also want to add a disclaimer that I’m probably terribly inconsistent and hypocritical as well , but I do try to acknowledge that.

What does feminism mean to you...: Page 2

What does feminism mean to you...

LadySybilVimes

I used to get called from another part of the house to change the TV station. Horrible.

Sometimes ...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

Crombek

To answer the question - I have very complex and confusing thoughts about the concept of feminism, w...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

PuddingPlease

Crombek

Pansexual is actually a real bugbear of mine. There is a lot of historical stigma around bi...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

RichardParker

I don’t believe in gender identity. I believe in gender stereotypes, gender roles, etc. I believe ...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

CallMeAl

RichardParker what if gender identity is the gender stereotype you feel most drawn to?

I keep comi...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

Jane-Jetson

Oh [Login to see the link] I hope it didn’t come across as though I was arguing that sending girls t

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

Crombek

Jane-Jetson

No, not at all, it was a couple of different posters. School choice is fraught indeed, I’m one of those heathens who send my kids Catholic so I’m certainly not going to start judging others school choice 😉. In fact my only conceptualization of single sex school is my mother (who hated it) and an in-law who is the stereotype of rich sheltered inner city girl, so neither paint a pretty picture of it at all!

I just think it’s really important to point out that so much of this is complicated by location, social and economic capital, and that can’t be ignored in discussions. I would have had no problem making that point in the thread but it was locked 🤷‍♀️.

Dawn

NightHawk no brothers. Just me and my sister.

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

RichardParker

I do think there should be more publicly-funded single-sex education options. It’s something that’s...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

RichardParker

CallMeAl oh yeah I don’t doubt that it’s real for them - it’s their preference, and if they feel ‘ri

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

LadySybilVimes

What is the gender stereotype of being female? It’s something I wonder about because I see people re...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

CallMeAl

LadySybilVimes I think the thing is that we all pick up on these stereotypes, even if we later disa

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

Dawn

[Login to see the link] you are so eloquent! Exactly what you’ve said.

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

RichardParker

CallMeAl that’s very similar to how I feel about religious affiliation. It’s definitely a part of my

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

CallMeAl

RichardParker I’d agree it isn’t objectively measurable like sex, if that’s what you mean by exist.

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

NightHawk

Wilding Look at families with multiple children, even twins - the same parenting doesn’t create the

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

WidowWyncke

I had typed this just as the site went down.I’ll post it and then read the previous replies.

I star...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

RichardParker

CallMeAl Gender Identity exists as a feeling, as much as religious Identity exists as a feeling - bu

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

PuddingPlease

I think feeling heard and validated at any age is a powerful thing and that this is particularly tru...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

CassandraNORI

PuddingPlease I think if the language of gender dysphoria allows young people, who might otherwise h

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

PuddingPlease

CassandraNORI

I’m not sure how true that actually is in Australia.

It’s not my area of expertise...

You have to Log In or Sign Up to see the full post

CallMeAl

RichardParker It’s just that where the rights/segregations are sex-based, then we have to use biological sex because it’s objective, as opposed to Gender Identity which is subjective.

I dunno, I feel like some rights/segregations are more sacrosanct than others. Specifically, ones where safety is concerned or areas where women had to fight hard to get the little they have, those are ones I resent being lost. Whereas toilets and so on I don’t feel quite as strongly about (although I know some see them as a safety issue). I think some areas of sex segregation were based on unnecessary categorisations and can be binned (e.g. kids school uniforms). Others (e.g. sport) were based on recognisable physical differences and it’s ridiculous to change them to ‘identity’ based.

PuddingPlease I’m not sure how true that actually is in Australia.

It’s not my area of expertise however so I am happy to be corrected.

It seems to be increasingly so. Australia seems far behind the UK and so on which is a plus, but kids can still access puberty blockers and in some cases opposite sex hormones before 18. The scary part is I feel like there is a definite push towards an affirmation model - there is lots of critiquing as ‘gatekeeping’ the requirement of a letter from a psychologist before accessing surgery. I guess on the flipside though the pressure is doctors wanting to keep their arses covered liability wise.

« Previous Page Next Page »