After being stuck in debates ‘elsewhere’ on the internet and feeling frustrated about not being to have properly open and robust discussions without much editing, I thought I’d ask motherboard… what does feminism mean to you? I have my ‘ideal’ version in my head (not sure i could put it into words though) and then i come into the real world and I feel angry, powerless and a bit overwhelmed by it all. I am surprised to find myself as a middle class person after a very working class childhood, and a mother who had a desperately poor childhood. And I think it creates all kinds of points of tension for me. In my work, I work with a really broad cross of society. I love it. Anyway. Just more rambling from me, but would love to hear other peoples thoughts.

I read along with that thread - can’t post there anymore because I was banned for discussing issues that affect women. So I guess feminism to me means having a voice in issues that affect women - there was a poster in there banging on about voiceless women who might be reading along who aren’t privileged enough to make choices about where to send their girls to school. Well I’m one of those women but the only reason I was voiceless on that forum is because of posters like that who had me banned by playing the victim card. Side vent out of the way… feminism SHOULD in part be about women having a voice about issues that affect them.

Your post really resonated with me. I also grew up working poor, but would now be seen as middle class. Both my parents had terrible childhoods which effected their parenting, I’m still working through the issues of my childhood. The only difference would be that I don’t work with a broad cross section of society, I work in financial services. That being said my employer is very progressive, I work with people from all different groups. I feel overwhelmed, angry, sad and scared about the issues facing women, and hopeless. Feminism to me is about safety, equality, and freedom.

I guess at it’s heart, I think of feminism as equality for women. Breaking it down there are so many pieces to that, including removing societal structures that sexualise and objectify us, disadvantage us financially and socially, etc. And then more recently I’ve become more passionate about the part where we need a voice. I think I took that bit for granted before, I assumed we somewhat had one now - not in the sense that people would always listen but I thought it was a given that speaking out about feminism was ok. But over the last few years I’m seeing a move to a society where speaking up for women’s rights is shamed, attacked, or just silenced, and I’m pretty shocked that there are people twisting their brains around to this being ok. I thought this was ground we had already won. Once again, women’s rights are only allowed where they don’t infringe on men, and the language of disadvantage has now been co opted to achieve this. So now, feminism also means to me fighting in any way I can for women to have a voice.

CallMeAl I think that’s where my deep anger is stemming from now. I didn’t always speak up, and I didn’t always feel safe to do so, but there is something just so fundamentally wrong with saying to women, you can’t speak about you’re safety concerns. And it’s not just white middle class women who are being told this right now. Hibo Wadere on twitter who talks about female gential mutilation, gets attacked all the time for not including transwomen. How dare they! What was done to her and women like her is horrific and people want to quibble over transwomen not being included?

Dawn i am fortunate that my mum is awesome. She made mistakes along the way, but nothing major. She overcame an awful childhood to give us a stable, secure, loving one. I cannot stand her being condescended down to and some of those posts ‘elsewhere’ made me furious on her behalf. She didn’t need the piffle of that faux apology.

For me personally It’s having a voice, being heard, having choices and the right to make those choices. I also have the right to be me. That may be overly simple, however if I add too many stipulations and caveats, my thoughts appear defensive, almost argumentative and it gets bogged down in words and loses its meaning to me.

I never really felt that I didn’t have a voice or that I was being discriminated against for being female until I had a child. Its much eaiser for me to see the injustices facing women in the role of ‘mother’, then it was as just a single woman without children. Which isn’t to say they weren’t there, just that I couldn’t see them as clearly. Raising kids brings up so many issues and shows stark differences in expectations for men and women. I remember seeing a study, where they showed a group of people a messy living space and then told people either a woman or a man lived there. When told a man lived there, they judged the space as less messy than when told a woman lived there, hence highlighting the expectation that women should clean and maintain higher standards of cleanliness.

Dawn yes!!! I think as a fairly privileged person I did not experience much sexism or disadvantage related to my sex (or didn’t notice when I did, it was probably hidden well) apart from safety concerns. But when I became a mother… yep then it all becomes so evident.

Maybe we need code for those of us that like argy bargy 😅. I like arguing and working out the edges. I also want to add a disclaimer that I’m probably terribly inconsistent and hypocritical as well , but I do try to acknowledge that.

What does feminism mean to you...

Heyho2

After being stuck in debates ‘elsewhere’ on the internet and feeling frustrated about not being to h...